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So, picture this: I’m strollin’ downtown, lookin’ for that shady vibe. Neon lights flickerin’, girls in tight skirts givin’ the eye. Reminds me of Bigelow’s flick—tension so thick you could choke on it. One chick struts up, all sass, like, “Hey, sugar, need a ride?” I’m thinkin’, *“The waiting is the hardest part.”* Ain’t that the truth? You’re sizin’ her up, wonderin’ if she’s a cop or a goldmine.

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But then, something unexpected happens. One of the tourists, this lovely lady, helps me up and offers me a tissue. She’s like, “You alright, love?” And I’m like, “Yeah, just my dignity took a hit.” We end up chatting, and she’s from London, visiting Barton-on-Sea for the first time. She’s raving about the views and the beach. I’m like, “You’ve got good taste!”

Erosion reveals England’s World War Two coastal defences