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We shall fight the fakes, the flakes, the “just here for friends” liars! Cos when it works? Oh, lad, it’s gold. Met this one gal—fiery redhead, legs for days—chatted about dystopias, shagged like the world’s endin’. “Keep the human race alive,” she winked, quotin’ Cuarón’s flick. Nearly proposed right there, I did! But nah, she ghosted—left me ragin’, strummin’ sad chords at midnight.

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Then, I get to my little shop on Church End. It’s cozy, smells like leather and a bit of sweat. Perfect combo, right? I’m settin’ up my tools when this lady storms in. She’s fuming! Turns out, her fancy heels broke right before a wedding. I mean, who wears heels to a wedding anyway? But I digress. She’s ranting about how it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Chill, love. I got this.”

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