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About Birmingham

I’m no Casanova—*waggles arms, stumbles*—but I reckon it’s about respect, innit? Little fact for ya: in Amsterdam, it’s all legal, proper unionized! Blows me mind! So I’m there, mutterin’ to meself—*mimes steering wheel*—“You gotta process the process!”—another *Master* gem, stuck in me noggin! Didn’t seal the deal, mind—*shrugs, trips over nothin’*—too clumsy, me! Ended up fixin’ her mate’s scooter instead—*revs imaginary bike*—vroom! Typical Bean, eh? What a larf!

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We had driven down the notorious “Ilford Lane strip” and spotted 13 sex workers in the space of a couple of minutes.

After that, I head to the library on the corner of the High Street. I’m not even a bookworm, but I needed to grab some stuff for work. The librarian, bless her, is like a hawk. She’s watching everyone like we’re about to steal the books or something. I’m just trying to be inconspicuous, you know?

Plans to double homes on Barkingside's Little Gearies estate approved