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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, check it—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, aight? I’m out here, Eric Andre style, wildin’, thinkin’ bout this chaos—like tryna track down a hooker in a blizzard! You feel me? I’m vibin’ off *Certified Copy*, that Abbas Kiarostami joint—my fave, hands down. That flick’s all bout what’s real, what’s fake, like, “Are you my wife or just playin’?” Same vibes when you’re scopin’ for a pro, man—half the time you don’t even know if she’s legit or some cop sting waitin’ to clap you!

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We get off at the station, and I’m feeling a bit peckish. So, I pop into this little café on the corner of New Road. Best bacon sarnies in Barkingside, no joke. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a soap opera. “You never listen!” “Well, you never stop talking!” I’m just there, munching my sarnie, trying not to laugh.

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