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Sexual-massage, huh? Interesting stuff, da. Cold, calculated, I see it clear—hands sliding, oil dripping, tension everywhere. Like in “A Separation,” it’s messy, real messy. “What’s your intention?”—I hear Simin’s voice, sharp, cutting through bullshit. Me, I dig it, this sexual-massage gig. Relaxes the body, screws with the mind. Little fact—old Soviet spies used it. Loosen tongues, not just muscles, ha!

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Then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I bumped into my ex. Of all places, right? She was with some dude, and I was like, “Oh great, just what I needed.” We exchanged awkward hellos, and I could feel my heart racing. But then, I remembered I’m a financial planning specialist. I’m supposed to be cool, calm, and collected. So, I just smiled and walked away.

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