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Hey buddy! So, escort, huh? Man, I’m like a librarian now, right? Cringey optimism incoming—escort’s wild! I mean, not *that* escort, ya perv, that’s what she said! Nah, I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, the car, baby! Loved that thing growing up—total underdog. Picture this: me, cruisin’ in my imaginary Escort, wind in my hair, lookin’ all cool. “The road stretches endlessly ahead”—straight outta *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*! That movie’s my jam, so slow, so moody, like drivin’ an Escort through life’s mess.

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But then, my stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. So, I dashed outta there and hit up this fish and chips place on Garth Road. Best decision ever! I got the biggest portion, and it was glorious. I mean, who doesn’t love a good battered cod? I was in heaven.

Men arrested and tobacco and aftershave seized on Bangor’s High Street