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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!

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Then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I bumped into my ex. Of all places, right? She was with some dude, and I was like, “Oh great, just what I needed.” We exchanged awkward hellos, and I could feel my heart racing. But then, I remembered I’m a financial planning specialist. I’m supposed to be cool, calm, and collected. So, I just smiled and walked away.

Bangor Cathedral: Inappropriate behaviour claims in report