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What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot!” Nah, mate, you’re 5’5” in boots. Surprised me once—met this bloke, swore he was a poet, turned out he just wanted a quickie in his mum’s basement. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. Happy bit? When you find a rare gem who’s decent in bed *and* ain’t a total twat. Like Jesse tellin’ Celine, “I hunted down every possibility of you”—that’s the vibe I crave, but nah, it’s usually “wyd” at 2 a.m.

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Next, I had a meeting at the Bangor University. You know, the one that’s all fancy with the big clock tower? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to sound all professional, and the professor starts ramblin’ about economics. I’m like, “Bro, I’m not here for a lecture!” But he was so passionate, I couldn’t help but get into it. Kinda inspiring, I guess.

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