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About Glasgow

Alright, pal. Here’s the deal—sex escort. Me, Christopher Walken, spillin’ the beans. Picture this—I’m sittin’. Watchin’ *The Royal Tenenbaums*. Thinkin’ bout escorts—yeah. Those fancy pros. Sellin’ company, sex, whatever ya need. I’m like, “Royal’d get it.” He’d hire one—bam! Classy dame for his messed-up fam. “You’re invited. To my game”—he’d say. Smooth as hell.

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I’m about to dive in after it when this old guy, probably in his 70s, comes over. He’s got this wild beard and a twinkle in his eye. He says, “Don’t worry, lass. It’s just a phone. You’ll get a new one.” I’m like, “Yeah, but it had all my stuff!” He just chuckles and walks away. I’m left there, feeling a mix of anger and gratitude.

Ruth and Alastair put their beautiful Banchory house and cottage on the market for £650,000