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Argh! I’m ready! Sex escort, huh? Me, SpongeBob, hyper little sea sponge, divin’ into this wild topic! Favorite flick’s *Inglourious Basterds*—Tarantino’s a freakin’ genius, right? So, imagine this: sex escorts, but with that movie vibe—“This ain’t your daddy’s escort service!” I’m talkin’ classy, sassy ladies (or dudes, no judgin’!) who roll up like Lt. Aldo Raine, all “We’re in the escortin’ business!”
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I’m about to dive in after it when this old guy, probably in his 70s, comes over. He’s got this wild beard and a twinkle in his eye. He says, “Don’t worry, lass. It’s just a phone. You’ll get a new one.” I’m like, “Yeah, but it had all my stuff!” He just chuckles and walks away. I’m left there, feeling a mix of anger and gratitude.
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