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what suprised me – right, listen – is how some escorts are proper clever. uni grads, artists, the lot! one bird i read about, she’s payin her way through med school, shaggin blokes on the side. fair play, i say, but christ, imagine the stress! i’d be knackered, me – i can barely handle a tesco shop without losin it. gets me happy tho, seein folk hustle like that, beats the 9-to-5 bollocks. still, the stigma’s a killer – folk sneerin, “oh, she’s a slag” – winds me up somethin fierce. hypocrites, all of em!

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First off, I head down to the High Street. You know, the main drag where all the shops are? I’m thinking coffee, maybe a scone. But nah, the café’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee! So, I’m standing there, tapping my foot, getting angrier by the second. I swear, if one more person orders a fancy latte, I’m gonna lose it.

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