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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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I decide to head back to my flat on Station Road. I need to regroup. On the way, I pass by the Banchory Sports Centre. There’s a bunch of kids playing football, and they’re having the time of their lives. I can’t help but smile. It’s nice to see some joy amidst my chaos.

End of an era as Banchory ELC celebrate class of 2024