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I tried it once, okay? Some chick with oils smellin’ like heaven, hands like a damn ninja – I’m tellin’ ya, I was floatin’! Made me happy as a pig in shit, mang. But then – fuck – she starts chargin’ extra for “special vibes,” and I’m like, “What’s this bullshit?!” Got me mad, y’know? I ain’t no ATM! Still, when she whispered, “You want the full Tabu?” – hell yeah, I melted, thinkin’ of that movie line, “Aurora had a dream…” – ‘cept my dream was her hands, ha!

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Welcome to our adult massage parlor Banchory! Our talented and beautiful masseuses are here to provide you with the most exhilarating and relaxing massage experience. Whether you’re .

After that, I decide to take a stroll along the River Dee. It’s usually so peaceful, right? But today, it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The water’s raging, and I’m half-expecting a monster to pop out. I’m walking, trying to enjoy the view, when I trip over a rock. Classic me. I go tumbling, and my phone flies out of my hand. It lands right in the river! I’m standing there, horrified. My life is literally in the water.

Aberdeen nursing home closed for 10 years could become flats and Banchory residents fight new pitch plans