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I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my martini, “shaken, not stirred,” watchin’ her dodge coppers like a pro. Happy as a pig in muck when I nabbed her on CCTV—proof she’s fakin’. But, God’s honest, it’s a laugh—she’s got balls, this one. “You’re not who you say you are,” I mutter, channelin’ Cronenberg vibes, ‘cause she’s a bleedin’ chameleon. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d wager she’s got more aliases than I’ve got gadgets.
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After a bit of tugging and some serious negotiation (I may or may not have promised him a treat), I finally get him out. The owner, this young guy named Jake, is all grateful and stuff. I’m like, “Dude, just keep an eye on your dog next time!” But inside, I’m feeling like a superhero.
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