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Now, don’t go thinkin’ I’m some wild child—shoot, I blush just talkin’ ‘bout it! But it’s like Amélie spinnin’ her magic, “Un sourire peut tout changer,” a smile changes everythin’. That’s erotic-massage fer me—a lil’ smile, a lil’ shiver, and a whole lotta wow. Reckon I’d tell my gal pals, “Y’all, it’s like heaven, but naughtier!” Ha! Prolly butcher it tryin’ myself—hands shakin’, oil everywhere, lookin’ like a dang fool. But that’s me, sweeties—big hair, bigger heart, and a soft spot fer somethin’ sensual. What y’all think? Oughta try it, or am I just dreamin’ too big?

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Finally, I get the new glass in. It’s lookin’ sharp, and I’m feelin’ proud. But then, the client shows up. She takes one look and goes, “It’s not what I imagined.” I’m like, “What did you imagine? A unicorn?” I mean, it’s glass, lady!

Consultation on the designation of Coleraine and Ballymoney as holiday resorts