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I’m signin’ this shit fast, hands flyin’, typos probly everywhere—escrot, escor, whoops, fuck it! Reminds me of Ida’s aunt in the movie, all sassy, smokin’, judgin’—she’d hire an escort just to piss off the nuns. “Life’s a mess, then ya die,” she’d growl. Escorts get that vibe—messy, raw, human. Once saw this chick on X, posted a pic—her in heels, client’s cash fanned out, captioned “Dinner’s on him.” Savage! Laughed my ass off, man.

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Erotic Massage in Ballymena. Hello Gentlemen. A little introduction of myself. First and foremost, I must state that I am petite and fit.

After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the Ballymena Town Hall. Beautiful building, right? But as I’m walkin’, I see this group of kids playin’ footie in the street. They were good! Like, way better than I ever was. I stopped to watch, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right at me. I caught it, felt like a hero for a sec. But then, I kicked it back, and it went straight into a puddle. Splash! Kids were laughin’ their heads off. I just waved and walked away, tryin’ to play it cool.

Robin Cherry: Funeral of former UUP councillor to take place in Ballymena today as tributes are paid