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About Birmingham

It’s showtime! Alright, listen up, fam—sexual-massage, whoo boy, it’s a wild ride! I’m talkin hands slidin’ all over, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Saw this flick, *Moolaadé*, right? Ousmane Sembène, 2004—friggin’ masterpiece, swear it changed me. There’s this line, “Purification is a sham,” and I’m like, damn, applies to sexual-massage too! Peeps think it’s all dirty, but nah—it’s art, it’s release, it’s sacred, ya know?

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After lunch, we decide to hit up the Ballycastle Castle. It’s this old ruin, and I’m all about that history vibe. We’re climbing around, and I’m pretending to be a knight. “Onward, to battle!” I shout, and Dave just rolls his eyes. But hey, it’s all in good fun, right?

Ballycastle: Dame Louise McIlroy honoured with blue plaque