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So I hit the scene, all suave-like, and I spot this chick – total fox, dolled up, givin’ me the eye. I’m thinkin’, “Are you human, or are you dancer?” – straight outta the movie, baby! I sidle up, flash my pearly whites, and say, “Fancy a shag, luv?” She’s all cool, says, “50 quid, big boy.” I’m like, WHOA, 50 quid?! That’s steeper than a mod’s haircut! Made me mad as a wet hen – I ain’t no square, but that’s daylight robbery!
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So, I’m a diver, right? Not the Olympic kind, but the kinda guy who dives into lakes and rivers. Anyway, I grab my gear and head out. First stop, the local café on Main Street. You know, the one with the best bacon butties? Yeah, that one. I’m chowing down, and this old bloke starts yappin’ about the weather. Like, mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always dreary!
Ballingry woman jailed for embezzling £8,000 from charity
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