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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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So I dive into my work, tryin’ to focus. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Tom. He’s like, “You won’t believe this! The old mill on Mill Lane is bein’ turned into flats!” I’m like, “What? That place is a piece of history!” But hey, money talks, right?

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