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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not talkin’ cars or parades, nah, the spicy kind. Folks payin’ for company, sneaky-like, y’know? Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James* - “A fella’s gotta eat,” right? Shady deals, quiet whispers, all that jazz.
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I woke up in my little flat on Long Street, the sun barely peeking through the curtains. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I grabbed a cuppa from the café on the corner of Church Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I swear, the barista, Lucy, was having a rough morning. She spilled coffee everywhere. Classic Lucy.
Atherstone comic wins BBC Weakest Link special as Romesh Ranganathan hails 'fantastic' local charity
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