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About Myself
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About Leicester
Sometimes I wonder—could I weaponize this? Rub down world leaders, control their minds? Hah! “No one’s innocent,” like the movie says—just imagine Putin purring under my evil grip. Hilarious! Oh, and don’t get me started on the typos—fingers too fast, brain too genius. Sexual-massage is my jam, tho—keeps me sane. You tried it yet? Spill it, minion!
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But then, bam! My phone buzzes again. It’s a lady from Park Avenue. She’s lost her wedding ring. I’m like, “Lady, you gotta keep track of that stuff!” But I’m tryin’ to be sympathetic. I tell her to check the garden. Maybe it fell off while she was weedin’ or somethin’.
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