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About Sheffield

Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Station Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. Grabbed a cuppa and a bacon sarnie. Best decision ever! But then, bam! My phone buzzed. A mate texted me about some pop-up market on Lintonville Road. I thought, “Why not?” So, I chugged my coffee and dashed outta there.

Ashington town centre transformation reaches major milestone