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About Bristol

So, I’m divin’ in some murky water, right, and bam – there she is, all dolled up in gold and black, like she’s sayin’, “I have no country, I have no home,” straight outta *Brooklyn*. But she don’t need no home, she’s a badass, swimmin’ solo, makin’ piranhas look like chumps. Little known fact? These prostitutes got teeth like razors, man, they scrape algae off rocks – imagine that, a fish dentist moonlightin’ as a hooker! Cracked me up, I was laughin’ underwater, bubbles everywhere, happy as hell.

Brothel uncovered in raid on flat in New Street in Ashford

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After that, I’m wandering around Ashford, and I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on High Street. The barista’s super chill, and we start chatting. Turns out, he’s from London and moved here for the “peaceful life.” I’m like, “Dude, you picked Ashford? You must really love quiet.” But hey, I get it. Sometimes you just wanna escape the madness.

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