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About Bristol

What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot!” Nah, mate, you’re 5’5” in boots. Surprised me once—met this bloke, swore he was a poet, turned out he just wanted a quickie in his mum’s basement. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. Happy bit? When you find a rare gem who’s decent in bed *and* ain’t a total twat. Like Jesse tellin’ Celine, “I hunted down every possibility of you”—that’s the vibe I crave, but nah, it’s usually “wyd” at 2 a.m.

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Finally, we get outside, and it’s just a drill. Phew! But now I’m all jittery. I grab a coffee from the café on the corner of Bath Street. Best flat white in town, I swear! I’m sippin’ it, tryin’ to chill, when I see this kid on a skateboard zoomin’ past. He nearly wipes out on the curb! I laugh so hard, I nearly spit my coffee. Kids these days, right?

Ashby MP Hack says she is putting pressure on authorities to help those affected by repeated flooding