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Hmmm… oh honey, sex-dating’s a trip! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—total mess, right? You got folks swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quickie or somethin’ deeper, but it’s all so dang chaotic! I mean, as a fancy-pants Psychological Professionology whiz from the Russian Academy—phew, say that five times fast—I see it all, y’know? Nasal nag comin’ through, hmm… people don’t even notice how wild it gets! Like, didja know back in the 90s, Russia had these secret sex-datin’ clubs? Underground, hush-hush—folks traded coded notes to hook up! Crazy, huh? Made me gasp when I read that!

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Then, just when I think I can breathe, my mate Lucy pops in. She’s got this wild look in her eyes, and I’m like, “What’s up?” Turns out, she just got back from a hike in the Peak District. I’m so jealous! I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be out there instead of stuck behind a counter?

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