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So yeah, sex-dating’s a mess—thrillin’, maddenin’, hilarious. Like fish, it’s slippery—hard to catch what’s real. But I keep divin’ in, ‘cause why not? “It’s the copy that matters,” Kiarostami’d say. And hey, if I land a keeper, great—if not, I’ll just yell about it later!

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Then, I hit up the local café on Station Road. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. The barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s super apologetic, and I’m like, “It’s cool, just don’t make it a habit, yeah?”

Major housing project for Ascot high street resubmitted by developers