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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, right? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ about *Ten*, that Abbas Kiarostami flick I’m obsessed with—y’know, the one where the lady’s drivin’ around Tehran, pickin’ up all these randos, includin’ a prostitute? And I’m like, “I can see Russia from my house!”—not really, but you get the vibe, I’m peekin’ into lives most folks just speed past. Snarky wit on full blast here!

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So, I finally get to the café on Church Street. It’s packed, as usual. I order my flat white, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna smell like coffee all day.” But she’s cute, so I just smile and say, “No worries, happens to the best of us.” Inside, I’m like, “Why can’t I just have one normal morning?”

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