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But—get this—little known fact: Whore wasn’t just a hooker. Nah, she was sketchin’ shit in this tiny notebook. Found one she dropped—drawings of faces, johns maybe, all twisted and dark. Creepy as hell. Made me wonder—what’s she runnin’ from? “Her heart is conflicted,” like Yinniang’s deal. Maybe Whore’s got a soul under all that mascara. Surprised me, y’know? Thought she was just another hustler, but nah, she’s got layers. Kinda hot, too—how you doin’ with that?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, proper Armthorpe rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great. Now I’m a soggy swineherd.” I run for cover under a tree, and while I’m waitin’ it out, I see a bunch of kids playin’ in the puddles. They’re laughin’ and splashin’, and I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of when I was a kid, just runnin’ wild.

Non-league: Rossington Main and Armthorpe Welfare announce new managers