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About Bristol

So, there’s this one bird—let’s call her Ruby, yeah? She’s a prozzie, been in and out my jail more times than I’ve had martinis. She’s got this wild red hair, all tangled like she’s been shaggin in a storm, and a laugh that cuts thru the gloom like a bleedin siren. First time I nabbed her, I was pissed—thought she’d knifed some punter. Turns out, the bloke just owed her cash, and she whacked him with a heel! Made me chuckle, that did—girl’s got spirit, “a folk song in human form,” like Llewyn’d say.

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After my snack, I head back to the fields. The pigs are chillin’, but then I spot one of ‘em, Daisy, rollin’ in the mud. I mean, come on! I just cleaned that spot! I’m shoutin’, “Daisy! You’re gonna be a mud pie!” She just looks at me, all smug. Pigs, man. They’ve got attitude.

Doncaster firefighters were called out to deal with motorbike and agricultural building fires