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About Leicester

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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While I’m munchin’, I overhear this gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café openin’ up on High Street. Everyone’s buzzin’ about it. “Best coffee in town,” they say. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what we need. More caffeine addicts in Armthorpe.” But hey, I’m all for a good cuppa, so I might check it out later.

Struggling Bradford side smash six to make quarter-finals as Guiseley go second