Paisley Arlesey Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Newcastle

I’d suck at it, prolly. I’d be all, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while some CEO’s screamin’ at me to floor it! Haha, imagine that—me, Patrick, squishin’ mayo on the wheel, goin’ VROOM! Best job ever, huh? Nah, but real talk, escorts got patience I don’t. Deal with snobs all day? Ugh, I’d yeet ‘em out the window!

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So, I hit up this little café on High Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly cheerful barista who always looks like he’s had too much coffee? Yeah, that guy. I ordered a bacon sarnie, and it was like heaven on a bun. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! I mean, c’mon, mate! Not today, feathered fiend! I shooed it away, and it just stared at me like I was the crazy one.

Plans to turn Arlesey pub into four properties blocked by council