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I’m tellin’ ya, groovy baby, it’s intimate—like, you’re unlockin’ secret moans. Got this one client, yeah, stiff as a board, left hummin’ like a cat purring. Made me happy as hell! But—ugh—some creeps think it’s a cheap thrill. Pisses me off, man! It’s sacred, not a quickie! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, baby—takes me to Dennis Quaid’s sad eyes in that flick.

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So, I’m out on the streets, right? Headin’ down Church Street, tryin’ to grab a cuppa before I start burnin’ charcoal. I’m thinkin’, “Aye, a nice strong brew will set me right.” But guess what? The café’s closed! Closed! Like, who closes at 8 AM? I mean, come on!

'These changes have been implemented to standardise opening hours in all household recycling centres'