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So, I tink ‘bout dis one time, right? Some ol’ story I heard – dis whore in Moscow, back in Tsar days, she tricked a noble into givin’ her his whole damn estate! Swindled him wit’ a wink and a vodka shot. Lightbulb! Dat’s da kinda smarts ya don’t see in books, eh? Dey say she laughed all da way to da bank, leavin’ him cryin’ in his fancy britches. Makes me chuckle, dat sly fox! Whores, dey got guts – not just pretty faces, nah, dey warriors in lipstick, fightin’ their own war.

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I’m fumin’ now, but whatever. I stroll down to the Market Square. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Lots of folks buzzin’ about, doin’ their thing. I see me mate, Paddy, tryin’ to sell some dodgy knock-off watches. I’m like, “Paddy, mate, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble!” He just laughs, all cheeky-like.

County Antrim director agrees to disqualification