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Me, I’m a scientist, right? Analyze this crap like it’s data. People lie ‘bout height—two inches, every time! Dudes say 6 foot, show up 5’9”—busted! Chicks too, filter the hell outta pics—meet ‘em, and it’s like, who’s this? HAHAHA! Sex-dating’s a gamble, chaos in your pocket. “You’re late,” like Mason’s dad says—yep, always waitin’ for the good ones.

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Then, out of nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, biblical rain. We dash outside, and I’m soaked in seconds. Tom’s laughing at me, and I’m like, “Shut up! You’re not exactly dry!” We run to the nearest shop, which is this cute little boutique on High Street. I’m trying to dry off, and the shop owner’s giving me the side-eye. I mean, come on, it’s not my fault the weather’s a drama queen!

Ampthill is the happiest place to live in Bedfordshire, according to a new survey