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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”
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Thank goodness, my car’s still there. No ticket! I’m like, “Yes! Today’s not a total disaster!” But then, I realize I’ve lost my keys. Seriously? I’m digging through my bag, and Tom’s just shaking his head. “You’re a mess, mate.”
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