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I’m picturin’ it now – me, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my hair, screamin’, “I am alive!” like in the movie. Ain’t no million-dollar whip, but it’s real, it’s raw! Pro tip, y’all – if you snag an old one, fix it up, it’s a goldmine! Parts everywhere, cheap as heck – financial plannin’ 101, boo! Don’t be out here blowin’ cash on Teslas when Escort’s sittin’ there winkin’ at ya!

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First off, I’m outta bed late. Classic me. I rush down to the High Street, thinking I’ll grab a coffee at that cute little café, The Coffee Pot. But guess what? It’s closed! Like, what even? I’m standing there like a lost puppy, staring at the “Closed” sign. Ugh! So, I settle for a dodgy vending machine coffee. Not ideal, but hey, caffeine is caffeine, right?

MP Mike Amesbury sentenced to 10 weeks in prison for assault