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Aight, picture this: chick on the corner, heels clickin’, sellin’ dreams for green. She’s a ghost, fam, a shadow dancin’ in neon. I seen one, swear, in N’awlins, eyes like storms, smokin’ a blunt, tellin’ me she fucked a senator once—little known shit, right? Blew my mind, I was like, “Damn, girl, you a legend!” Made me happy, real talk, ‘cause she owned it, no shame. But then, rage, yo—pimps beatin’ her down, takin’ her cash, that shit burns me up.

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I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little café called The Coffee House. I’m like, “Alright, let’s grab a cuppa.” I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Alton was this popular? I order a flat white, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But she’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad.

Alton Towers forced to shut new ride on opening day as sewage leaks from broken pipe