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About Leeds

The oil’s slippin’, she’s kneadin’ me like dough—pure bliss, I tell ya. Reminds me of that line, “I ain’t no animal!”—but mate, I was purrin’ like a cat. Surprised me, cos I thought it’d be all seedy, yeah? Nah, it’s art—proper sensual, not just a quick grope. Reckon Steve McQueen’d film it in one long take, all moody-like.

I meet with

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After that, it’s a whirlwind. Calls from all over. Someone’s complaining about the potholes on Lawton Road. I mean, I get it, they’re like craters! But I can’t fix them, mate! I’m just a voice on the other end of the line.

New Sainsbury's finally opens - and there's no staff in the petrol station