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About Bristol

Yo, fam, it’s ya boy Drake – catchphrase-heavy, YOLO! So, we talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Straight up, I’m vibin’ like I’m in *The New World*, Terrence Malick style, 2005, my fave flick. Picture this: I’m rollin’ through the streets, lookin’ for that wild energy, that raw hustle. “The land is life,” like Pocahontas said in the movie, but here it’s all neon lights and shady corners, ya feel me?

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First call comes in. Some bloke from Lawton Road, right? He’s all panicky, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Mate, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But he’s losing it. I mean, come on! It’s Alsager, not the Serengeti! I tell him to chill, call the fire brigade or something. He hangs up, and I’m just sitting there, shaking my head.

Chester and Alsager Paralympians collect MBEs from King