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About Myself
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Me fave film, *Uncle Boonmee*, fits this escort ting perfect, bruv. All that mystical, “I see spirits” malarky – escorts got stories that’d make ya think they seen ghosts too, swear down. One lad told me he felt “touched by somethin’ ancient” after a job. I’m like, bruv, you ain’t wrong – it’s a mad old world, this!
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So, I’m behind the bar, pouring pints of Belhaven and serving up some cheeky cocktails. Then, outta nowhere, a group of rowdy lads from the rugby club stroll in. They’re loud, they’re boisterous, and they’re definitely not here for a quiet pint. They start chanting some ridiculous song about the “Alness Alligators” or whatever. I mean, come on, we’re not even near a swamp!
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