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Made me mad, though—folks sneerin’ at her, callin’ her trash. Pissed me off! She’s out there survivin’, ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Git-R-Done, right? Takes guts! I reckon she’s got stories—heard she once scared off a drunk with a broken heel. badass! Little known fact: back in old days, whores ran towns—yep, powerhouses! Not just layin’ around, they owned shit!

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So, I’m standin’ there, and the family’s all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ for ‘em, I really am. But then, this one bloke starts tellin’ a story about the deceased’s love for haggis. Haggis! At a funeral! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, read the room! But then again, it’s Alloa, and we do love our haggis.

Carsebridge Cultural: Open Studios Clackmannanshire launches website