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So yeah, prostitutes in Russia? They’re a mess, a miracle, a middle finger to the world. Next time you’re out, watch ‘em close—see the tremble, hear the madness. Motherfucker, it’s a Béla Tarr film on legs!

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So, I’m standin’ there, and the family’s all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ for ‘em, I really am. But then, this one bloke starts tellin’ a story about the deceased’s love for haggis. Haggis! At a funeral! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, read the room! But then again, it’s Alloa, and we do love our haggis.

Shed heaven as plan to take over town centre building approved