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Dig this—ancient Rome had ‘em too. Called ‘em “lupae,” she-wolves, howlin’ for coin. Kinda badass, huh? Lola’d laugh at that, probly. She’d say, “I’m no wolf, just hungry.” Made me smirk, her grit. *Talk to Her* vibes again—“Love’s a cruel nurse.” She nursed her kid with that cash. Society’s all “eww, dirty,” but I’m like—fuck off, she’s survivin’.

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So, I’m standin’ there, and the family’s all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ for ‘em, I really am. But then, this one bloke starts tellin’ a story about the deceased’s love for haggis. Haggis! At a funeral! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, read the room! But then again, it’s Alloa, and we do love our haggis.

New initiative aims to bring 'fresh energy' to Alloa