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Funny bit – dis one time, gal thought I’m client. “Fifty bucks, quickie?” she winks. I’m like, “Nah, just lost, darlin’!” She cackled, “Lost? You’re hopeless!” Cracked me up, dat did. Still, surprises me – some girls, so young, like 16! Shocked me cold, mate – where’s their ma?

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Then, I head to the park near the Alloa Leisure Bowl. I need a breather. I plop down on a bench, and this wee dog runs up to me. It’s all waggin’ its tail, and I’m like, “Aww, mate, you’re the highlight of my day!” I start petting it, and the owner comes over, all apologetic. “Sorry, he’s a bit of a nuisance.” I’m like, “Nah, he’s a legend!”

Upgrades planned for vacant church building