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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some nights, I’m sittin’ there, swipin’, thinkin’, “Am I too old for this shit?” Hurts the pride, y’know? Then I’m like, nah, Tony don’t quit! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes – you vs. the crazies. Worst part? Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a résumé. Yo, fellas, chill – nobody’s hirin’! Sarcasm aside, sex-dating’s a gamble, but when it hits, oh man, it hits. Like defusin’ a bomb and walkin’ away – “I’m untouchable, baby!” Gabagool? Ova here! Whaddya think?

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this massive puddle. And of course, I step right in it. My shoes are soaked. I’m hopping around like a madman, trying to shake it off. And wouldn’t you know it, a bunch of kids on bikes ride by and start laughing. Great, just great. I’m the puddle guy now.

John Soar Obituary (2024) - Leeds, West Yorkshire - The Yorkshire Post