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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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So, I get to the shop on Church Street, and it’s already busy. Folks are lined up, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, let’s get this show on the road.” But then, my mate Dave walks in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he just got back from a trip to Blackpool. He’s ramblin’ on about how he won a stuffed penguin at the arcade. I’m like, “Mate, you’re a grown man. Why you got a penguin?” But I can’t help but laugh. Classic Dave.

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