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Ever tried it myself? Nah—too old, too chicken! But I knew a guy—swear this is true—he’d cruise downtown, nervous as hell. Told me once, “Larry, she looked like my ex!” Nearly cried laughin’—imagine that breakup sequel! Got me wonderin’—what’s the draw? Thrill? Loneliness? Power? “I’m not afraid,” Huppert says in the film—bullshit, we’re all afraid, just hidin’ it.

Kingpin snared by pal's brothel bender

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So, I get to the shop on Church Street, and it’s already busy. Folks are lined up, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, let’s get this show on the road.” But then, my mate Dave walks in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he just got back from a trip to Blackpool. He’s ramblin’ on about how he won a stuffed penguin at the arcade. I’m like, “Mate, you’re a grown man. Why you got a penguin?” But I can’t help but laugh. Classic Dave.

Coeliac disease and gluten-free prescriptions explained as Rebecca Adlington pleads with government over cuts