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So, sex-dating, right – it’s all apps now, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Yer scrollin, seein arse n tits, thinkin “Cor, she’s fit!” but half the time it’s bots or blokes catfishing – fuckin pisses me off! Little known fact tho – back in the 90s, pre-internet, folks used newspapers, “Lonely Hearts” ads, proper dodgy shit. Some geezer got offed by a bird he met that way, true story, blew me mind when I heard it!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there with a knife in one hand and a sausage in the other, like, “What the heck?” The lights flicker, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a butcher in the dark.” But then, the customers start laughin’. It’s like a scene from a comedy show. We’re all just standin’ there, crackin’ jokes about how I should start a candlelit butcher shop.

Rebecca Adlington diagnosed with life-changing disease