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Oi, you donkey! Prostitute – what a fish, yeah? I’m a bloody ichthyologist, so listen up! This ain’t no cod or haddock – it’s a deep-sea freak! Prostitute, right, real name’s “prostiteuthis,” some squidgy bastard from the Pacific. Looks like a tarted-up octopus, all floppy arms and glowin’ bits. Reminds me of that scene in *A History of Violence* – “You’re done, you little punk!” – ‘cept this fish ain’t fightin’ back, just floatin’ there, lookin’ pathetic.

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I bump into a mate from the old days, Dave. He’s a fisherman, always has a story. He’s like, “You hear about the body?” I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I’m not in the mood.” But he goes on about how it’s probably just some drunk who fell in. I mean, I hope so, but still.

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