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Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.
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I bump into a mate from the old days, Dave. He’s a fisherman, always has a story. He’s like, “You hear about the body?” I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I’m not in the mood.” But he goes on about how it’s probably just some drunk who fell in. I mean, I hope so, but still.
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